Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
