i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
