You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
