i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize