Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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