Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
