Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
