Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
