I must be too annoying 4 u.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
