Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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