hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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