yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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