white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just puked most of my soul out..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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