I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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