I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
