No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
