i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
