this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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