did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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