Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
