if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize