Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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