I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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