Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
