I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
