And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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