Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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