In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
