Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I had to cum in my sink.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize