did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Holy shit dude........stairs
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