i would punch a child for taco bell
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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