why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
