She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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