were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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