go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
