Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
