Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
