the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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