she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
