i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
