Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
