yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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