i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
