My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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