i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
