would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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