After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
