You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
