Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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