I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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