It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
