I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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