Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
