let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
