I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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