Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
