does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
